You've all heard the expression: "Those who cannot do teach instead".
I've been doing a lot of teaching and preaching on this blog. Yesterday, I had the chance to put my money where my mouth is, and attend a seminar entitled I sold my screenplay to Hollywood.
It was run by Steve Jasmine and Karel Segers. You can find out more about them at The Story Department blog.
I quote from the page they put up weeks before the pitching session:
WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR? We need scripts with a great concept AND a strong story. If we think you are almost there, we will ask you to work with us to make your film a cinematic experience for as many people as possible. Cinema is about connecting with people. We are not looking for screenwriters who just want to tell their own personal story.
And so I thought I had what it takes to "sell" my pitch to them as a Hollywood blockbuster that would make them loads and loads of money. This week's podcast features the pitch session recorded on 13/09/08. I played them my trailer, then read my pitch to Steve, who then proceeded to give me feedback.
The best thing about this was it was in front of about 20 people - 12 others who were pitching their ideas that day. I got to gauge their reactions to both my pitch and Steve's comments.
Suffice it to say... I do not have what it takes for Hollywood to be interested in my film. I took a lot away from this pitch, however, and it may be of great help.
You may think I am giving away the ending in my pitch (warning - it contains a lot of spoilers) but I've simplified a lot just to see if the gist would grab Steve Jasmine. Due to the fact that I am re-considering some major parts of the over-arching story, some of the things revealed are no longer relevant, so take from them what you will.
The biggest problems with the story (according to Steve) are:
- It is hard to believe society will forget the past, as if we start from a clean slate
- I pushed the boundaries of what is plausible too far
- I am forcing the audience to accept my reality
- There are too many "what ifs"
Fair point.
Some more recurring points resounded when others read their scripts:
The inciting incident should not be one of chance. We need to know that we were able to overcome anything that God, the universe, the Devil, your mum - can throw at us and still be ok. We need to have been able to succeed.
The hero should be someone we BOTH Admire, AND identify with.
The hero should not start at a point below "OK". ie: a crippled hero; one that has to fight jsut to get to the level we see every single day - that does not hook audiences. We want to see someone who appears to be just like us, then rises to discover they have a greater power within themselves.
Two things he THEN said which went against everything I had been taught (and this will really fry your noodle as it did mine) and I am gonna bold and italicize these words for maximum impact: The Hero ALWAYS gets what he wants. The Hero NEVER changes.
The greatest most attractive stories to us are ones where the world as we know it is in great peril, and is saved, and then goes back to the way it was.
THAT is the Hollywood movie formula which will make a story great.
Now the unanswered questions: Should I sell my script to Hollywood? Or are there other markets in which a story about a group of heroes trying to forge a new life in a hostile place will sell?
Can I pitch my story so it addresses all those issues above?
Originally published September 9th 2008
8 comments:
The question for you is, what do you want to achieve ultimately? Are you just shopping a screenplay? Do you want to sit in the director's chair and film this thing for Dreamworks/Sony/Universal/etc? A TV series? What? I was always under the impression you were going to shoot this thing yourself, sell some DVDs, put it out on the film festival circuit, etc., in which case you take the criticism and extract the relevant (fixing the rookie mistakes, tighten up the story, etc) but in the end you shoot it anyway because you believe in it, you believe it's a good story...
And if you ARE looking to go down the Hollywood path, just remember one rejection doesn't kill it. If after you've tightened things up and made it bulletproof you repeated run into the sorry-not-interested line from Hollywood, there are independent studios and foreign markets to consider (Europe, Hong Kong, India -- who knows, it could be a Bollywood epic!)...
Just rambling -- pay no attention to the fat bald guy behind the curtain...
Hey Dan - no, you're absolutely right. The reason I went to the seminar is to see what someone totally unrelated and fresh would think of it, but in the state of mind that he was gonna put money behind it. I learned a lot of stuff, and yeah - there are things to fix. Primarily - plausible impossibility. It has to be so fantastic, so unbelieveable... but not to the point that audiences will go "nah, that's crap, I don't buy it". Other than that - not really too disheartened. I got more out of it than I lost in personal pride.
But yeah - what do I want to acheive is a big question. I began only wanting to produce a webisode vidcast series. Now, loads of people are excited about it - even folks with studios - which has made me reconsider the scope. But It will probably land in that middle-ground of small release, self-funded DVD sales land of independent animation. Which is totally fine by me.
The Bentleys and the Anorhexic Models can stay in the Hills. I like my desolate wasteland.
I listened to the podcast and I have some thoughts.
First of all, Kudos for taking it to the seminar and taking a shot at it. I doubt I could have done the same with my own work.
To be honest, I don't think you pitched it right. (and you already know this I am sure.) To much time was spent on backstory and not enough on the actual "meat" of the film itself.
The reason I say this is because "Mr. Hollywood" spent the VAST majority of his time talking about the backstory and whether its believable or not. He wasn't presented with enough information about what this film was about for him to brush the backstory aside and concentrate on the characters, the setting, or the actual plot.
Secondly, I don't think the backstory is unrealistic. It is all in how it is presented to the audience. In the Matrix (because he used it as an example) its little more than: Machines have taken over the planet, we destroyed our homes in an attempt to destroy them, now we live underground. This is perhaps more of a “stretch” than your film. But that revelation comes well into the movie after some pretty incredible stuff. The audience is ready to buy it at that point.
Thirdly, to say that a film about an event that is not preventable is boring, is crazy. I don’t know where to start with that statement. And besides, that’s all the past. The film is infact about people fighting to prevent an event from happening. But that goes back to what I was talking about with how it was presented to him.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is simply, don’t get yourself bent out of shape because “Mr. Hollywood” doesn’t care for it. Instead, find a way to present your story in a way that is more engaging and informative as to who the characters are and what is the immediate conflict they face. This seems to be what "Mr. Hollywood" was looking for anyway.
Keep it up. At the very least, you have me hooked. And I know there are a lot of other people out there who feel the same way I do.
Too right, Matt. There is plenty of fodder to talk about for next week's episode, in which I think I will explain the points you touched upon. The Pitch itself is a tricky thing to get right. He did get hung up on the things you said, but he did make a fair point: if the reason for the entire story is an act that could have been avoided, and the audience knows this - you wouldn't want to see the story. The best advice I got from this was "Don't force your audience to accept a reality that they don't have to".
What he means by that is if the reason for the reality does not sell the audience, then the whole story is useless. But more in next week's podcast... I think you'll like the title!@ ;)
Ok, But, how many successful movies are about an event that could have been avoided?
The Titanic accident could have been avoided had the ship slowed down or had it been designed better. And yet, one of the highest grossing films of all time is about that very incident.
The Holocaust and WW2 could have been avoided any number of ways, yet there are still highly compelling films written about those events.
Zombie outbreaks can be avoided, as can genetically designed dinosaur attacks.
Comedies about guys with no Jobs who smoke pot all day are hilarious, yet they could have kept their jobs and be earning a decent wage had they not smoked so much pot.
Basically, this idea that films about unavoidable events are not worth seeing to an audience is simply not true. It is all in the presentation.
That all being said, I think The "wrapper" that surrounds your story is the real thing that is going to keep Hollywood away. That "wrapper" being the Post Apoc thing. It has been done in Hollywood many times before and its never been very successful. It ends up always looking the same, and always being about one guy who can free a small group of underdogs from a life of turmoil or whatever. Producers get these scripts sent to them constantly and I am sure that it is an automatic turn off to them.
However, your story is much different, much more mature, and much grander than the usual run-of-the-mill Post Apoc story, but convincing "Mr. Hollywood" to look past the "wrapper" and to discover all the possibilities that the story itself holds is going to be quite a feat. (as you discovered.)
Hollywood may never be interested in your story, I don't know, I hope they do take a liking to it, but I have no worries that you will find your outlet, and that you will find your audience.
I will be excited to listen to your next podcast! Good luck!
Matt - soooo many things I want to say in reply to that last post - in fact to both your posts! But I am saving it for the podcast.
Did that sound ominous? I didn't mean it to be; I welcome the encouragement and the point of view - I share it. So glad you decided to speak out. Yes - wrapper as you call it is important. Also known as "backstory". I guess what I did is at the heart of this podcast, ultimately - show how it's done by going out and doing it...
Dammit... so wanna write it all here, but it's just a couple of days, and then you can listen with gusto.
I enjoyed listening to this recording of myself as I don't often hear my own voice. I swore a bit and I will reduce that in the future. I hope you got value out of the process and have movie success.
Absolute nonsense, this guy has been leaching off the world for years, he's a bum!
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